Time for the trip away. I want to on 1 2 3 4 5 .
Can you be with the witness. .Take care and belong.
All other ways of being pick up parts of the river. . . .
4/18/03 1:47
What been internalized now show the MAGIC into a self so like the everyday parts of a movement toward becoming exhibitions that he has to look away its not what is and what will be. The voice grows and understanding of what she is saying is again audible.
So continua leaves the room and focuses on a purloiner. (Planets are a very present he Unite do it is in a far off look. The woman ignores and puts another record on. The an is heard always words are rewritten over and over again.
He om and sat down starting to talk with the woman who was packing clothes for a journey. You can't tell if friend or lover or why she's leaves and its yes the room change around him growing steadily darker. The woman is still speaking inaudible as so continues seeing into all of this a in the house. And enters room…
STOP
gets up and changes clothes. Obvious when he looks of . . . What Illusions do
We live. As we go on like this.
4/17/03
4/14/03 23:39
what was the use in being able to do with thought staring with a question of would I do more being with
the sky. all the best.
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4_13_03 2:39
still happening the same as ever before. it's what is and becoming of me and all else. i said that i didn't know that they were falling me or that voices were coming from those kinda places.... this will all be a brown piece of memory and will be wanted to be touched by children and people who believe in life.. someday it's different no one ever
said but, i didn't know that movement happen all about there. take it easy .. you know more than was ever let on too. are you letting the light shine all night when darkness lays with one moment in love. i just wanted this to think about being guided away... it began like this and end with tears. .. ever flowing. ..
4/12/03 1:41
what it was. . . in the nsame place going over not to the listen know that brings around the freedom thousand times none. they came inside what i never wanted to become and one is the witness in the magic of the being. another stares at the still life.
4/11/03 Friday, 0:18
i just got off the phone with my dad...
talking about how.. alas, i am also broke
as FUCK and i'm applying for everything
to pay for school again . .
but then when i got off the phone. .
i this feeling of life... the way it ebbs and
flows through everything.. .i got
this feeling of the future it usually happens . ...
when you're sitting with a cup
of tea and this cool breeze blows over you
and it's not a real breeze but
a feeling, letting you know how someday everything
is going to be really sunny and bright
and filled with a strange magic that
makes you almost laugh all the time... .
and then i felt this rush of creative energy
which doesn't really
make sense because, it's (11 pm) and i've
been up since 6 and working with kids
all day long and feeling like i can't
hold a crayon at the end of the day. .
it's like when you're a little kid and you get to stay
up an extra half hour and you feel like
the night is never going to end.
i guess it's something like that.. this
feeling that life is going somewhere, where it's
never going to end.. and all this energy flows
out...and i make things for an hour or so until i fall
asleep. . and this happens all the time. ..
every once in a while i also ramble and send someone
a really long email. . .
4/10/03 0:13
STAY IN A YESTERDAY WALK AWAY.
WHEN IT ALL IS HAPPENING WITHIN LAST EVERYTHING CAME BACK AROUND AND CLOSED IN ITSELF ON A MOMENT WITH ARMS HELD. VIBRATIONS BACK THROUGH THE FOOTSTEPS OUR DAY DEAR COLORS BURNING TURNING HEAR THE SOUNDS OF PAUSES WITH A CLOSED HAND TO
WHAT THEY ALL WOULD SAY
4/5/03
keeping up with thoughts. held wide by a tree underneath. saying enough. often all that is. giving away my breath into a 
question that i've asked and comes along answered. when all is from the heart doing this in a way that makes a belief seem real.
4/4/03. . .
breathdspen through a forest and that
always jealoul up away towrd the ocean's horizt you le every moment you led me and i held you close in my oughts.. whent cool waters follow away towrd the ocean's horiz
every moment you led me and i held you close in my oug finae iside any taying a leaving go past and bond back again to the shadow of a heart so still th it w
as all that i ollow awayld eveso b with gifts that rolled into a mont ous feeling ohbring me in and let
cool waters follow away towrd the ocean's horiz every moment you led me and i held you close in my oughts.. when fae iinaerything i can to make the world eveso beautiful .. .
4/2/03 23:02
what seemed so wonderful was always that way. it took times like so many before and a few after to find the love that is in the world.
everything burns as you speak words and have thoughts to understand. the whole world is not a
s you want to know. to not speak from the heart saves a few troubles, to speak from it
changes what i believe for awhile that is
express it away to a place backed into a distant touch to say over what was written before sleeping right at a time of waking a pause kept the movement of my heart forever confused and as it always will be especially shaping the way clouds reflect sunsets and a few others that i don't know yet.
3/29/03 0:35 RIGHT BEFORE I FALL ASLEEP AND WHEN I WAKE IN THE MORNING. FOREVER FOREVER IT GOES ON THE TRUE LOVE OF LIFE.
MEDIATION
DESTRUCTIVENESS
LONGING TO LOVE
CLARIVOYANT ABILITIES
ISOLATION IN HUMANITY
PHILANTROPHY
MANDALAS
3/19/03
What is it I’m trying to say pertaining to my existence and everything else? In a world so complex and destroyed how will art heal it? Is beauty still created and by what means is the future coming toward all of us; when we make something that will grow into others unintentional understandings of how it is a part of our souls. . Coming from the old school letting lose a lot of other stuff. To create this and when will I believe in this world will
I ever. No one ever thinks so much as the one who wants all the answers to all the questions. The situation I’ve entered is to discontinue my thought process let it be still in the movement of life. And be back in the sounds that are repeatedly coming true as I let my few words recorded over and over again come to belief. Slow it way down position yourself the intelligence of a dying child. . Mixed up and all wonderful recreations. This is my heart and soul. No other belief I will ever have as I stare over long and forever. I hope you feel the motivation of when everything goes wrong. Welcome to tomorrow and a bunch of other places…
political dj
http://www.synstelien.com/desktops/hiroshima.jpg
http://www.teamdelta.net/war_game.htm
AND MAKING GROUPS. .
FAST..MORE.. A CONSTANT
VISUAL POETRY
walking around the world with an open hand looking for home. will
i ever find it i'll never know. . .
hey that's it what you've been asking me about with your heart are wrapped up in itself . . . . classify defile adjoin defy flag oasis j j elk j folks saved j if ode j opine adieu ion daffodil doe e ibid did idea
the things behind closed doors. .. like what's behind myself that i don't want to look at. . .
http://www.cyberspace-inmates.com/index.htm
INTIMATE WITH MYSELF AND OTHERS...
SAY IT..
3_12_2003 20:26
right back at you.
false captures release study again in ________different states kee_____
_________________________________________________ping in connection
as the w_______orld grows and dies. ___________we're all still her
_e as it flies into pieces______ so clo__se.
put your arm_s around and ___________hold on.. ..
______________________________________________
move inside above beyond into
everything along the lines that
draw upon hearts
to minds forever
in touch that lasts a breath
like a mountain wind forever away
3/11/03 18:59
let me see. ..
i'll give you a call so we can conversant about hanging
and shizz nittz. . .
you ever have that feeling that it's like a long far away world
and you don't know when you'll be back in it..
i like that feeling.. it usually means everything makes
sense.. because, this world is fucked up and i don't really
want to be a part of it so much as i'd rather be walking
beside a river.. thinking about everything and anything
. . while drawing pictures of the universe all over the
inside of my mind.. listening to the first song of the morning
and feeling the darkness turn to vapor as i slip
my hand under the water and bring it back to my face
with a feeling of completeness. . turn over a rock
and it's there.. lean against a tree and it's inbetween you
and another life.. i don't know what the fuck i'm talking
about. .. but, i think it means i need to sleep in the woods
soon. .
see you soon.
love.
b
3/5/03 23:07
In the darkness the dreamers saw the rest of the world grow and change and when they understood this they seemed to rise up into the darkness. They saw the small brightness again and saw the colors and felt the warmth of the world again. As they got up and walked into this new world they noticed for the first time other people around them. Lying on the ground with eyes closed or getting up to see the new day and they had the same impression of feeling the warmth and showing a sense of freedom in understanding beauty. The light had gone into the world and was found one after another another until dreamers walked the earth seeing each day new and for the first time and then falling into the spell of darkness and dreaming forever of the new life they had just lived.
3/3/03 23:10
I'VEBEENFEELINGREALLYLOSTMEDIATIONDESTRUCTIVENESSLONGING TOLOVECLARIVOYANTISOLATIONINHUMANITYPHILANTROPHY
03/01/03 15:01
when all control was lost mind made of powders that are blown into each other and the truth was never real as separated movements from voices that surround
let every other way collapse and loose itself and anyone else can wait to take care in regards of how we made it to this place
can't make love. eyes are shadows in the forest will i ever know what
true named spelled within the breaths of a thousands years from now when i left
my mark on the rock and it came back in sunshine with a given life life opens a again in the patterns
of wood. la. lallaaa. . llaaaa. .lllaaa la aaal laaaa l a la aal al al alaaaaaaaaaaaaa a a a a a a
2/27/03
what you heard. i'm coming around all those other times that we shared in murder of the sunrise. know what happens next is a melody
of loveliness.. this life.. ahhhh yhea.. . .
c r e a t e d a w o r l d f r o m n o t h i n g n e s s a n d e v e r y t h i n g
2/25/03
"Field of diamonds in the sky .. .. "
When everyday happens in one moment
the confusion doesn't really leave many answers more said of words that leave a mouth somewhat empty.
To let start when my hands touch the sky
I look forward to keeping warm in my place
no other till I find out why
to stand up after all of this.
Frozen all around the river becomes still. . . .
2/18/03
folded hands on a precious moment
still witness to the falling
when all else was different. . lie in memory
give away strong affections. . .
cast a line to the horizon
trace back all else with in
one to the movement of a rise falling
looking into the hearts of trees
in a turn of my focus lie down with
ever takeaway of a dissonance
to say why we do this
2/8/03 2:37
it's not easy. i've feel apart into a still piece of now. and when i wake up i am still me.. someday. in a way that will never seem real. we will walk together with our hearts apart and come together after we both see into the stars for a long time.. i've already seen de'javu.. and i don't' care.. I don' care what beautiful person I could have been with.. as long as i am expressing myself now.. i can't help what barriers i create inorder to feel someone's love.. but, i can decide how much i want to be involved in the destruction of this world.. in small ways growing large and maybe someday someone will hold my hand forever .. .. but, not in this place.. but, i'm probaly lying. which means. . .They are around.. maybe.. i slept in a tree one time. . .
2/16/03 23:58
going off into the love of the world...
it's so simple and yet so hard sometimes.. i guess that's what we
learn in life...
it's all changing for me right now.. as i look into the darkness and
see nothing looking back.. finally i've identified with this deep depression
i've been feeling and i'm tired of it.. i'm looking outside of myself and trying
to project myself to view the world in new and wondrous ways.. i'm
tired.. tired of talking. tired of arguing with myself.. tired.. and i'm
26.. that's fucked up.. . i shouldn't be tired i should be alive.. and to
say all of this means more than glossing over it with words about
trees falling and mountains laughing and shit.. it's about
going past the word "love" to someplace more beautiful. .
that's what i want to do.. and i'm going to make a film which i think
is going to the vain of my existence .. .
that i just create.. that i draw and write and don't think about it anymore..
i'm tried of thinking..
i use to not think.. and just do.. and it was easy.. and i learned and grew and
feel in love and saw how wonderful life is.. and i started thinking and thinking
about the wonders of life.. i wanted to feel life constantly.. and when my heart
was broken or i felt rejection from the world.. i thought about how i could
change it.. now i've seen all that thinking isn't the best..
i've been telling myself this over and over but, it's hard to break habits.. at
some point you have to stop cold turkey. . and just say .. fuck it.. i'm going to
live this life.. and i'm tired to thinking about all the bullshit...
"i've lead myself down this path over and over again and i'm ready to find
a new path and i'm going to look for it now" that's what i'm telling myself.. i'm
going to look now. .. into the world for a new path.. away from all these old
feelings of confusion.. it's time to stop and feel life again to become a part of things. . .
to be one with this world.. and it feels good to say.. and i'm glade that i could tell
you ... so that now the story begins.. you're the first to hear it and not the last
to read it. ..
LOVE MORE THAN LIFE
-b
2/13/03. .23:09
i thought i couldn't be seen.
and now i know i can be. ..
everything feels nice as i have started controlling
my powers over the clouds and far away places are
closer..
look past everything ever said and done.. we only
have one life and it will be shared forever. . .
kinda above just over to the right...
when you're sitting in a parked car in the rain you might
think about the words. ..
or how cancer came into you mind and left everything else
touching the sky for the very first time. ..
i love the way the wind blows against my cheek even if it hurts
and more so feeling honest with myself for the first time...
with that feeling i'm falling backwards over and over again . ..
